Week 11 – I Think I’m Smiling More

Eleven. I feel I’m moving ahead. Slowly improving. Advancing steadily. Like one of these icebreaker ships. Unstoppable. I feel stronger, mentally. Physically also. More energy. I feel more awake. Walking in the streets, my steps are clearer, more decisive, more conscious. More focussed. More powerful. More loving, harmonious and happy ? I sure hope so. I think I’m smiling more.

Probably the greatest improvement that I’m experiencing since the beginning of this amazing MKMMA course is that I notice the old blueprint’s procrastination getting weaker, slowly fading away. I’ll be vigilant though. I know it’s still there, but it’s definitely getting weaker… The many daily do-it-now‘s, week after week, are paying off. Often, I hesitate for a second or two, maybe even more… And then I hear the trained part of my mind whisper silently but clearly “do it now…”. I love that. I feel relief. Thank you. It’s becoming like a strong foundation. Ready to support a brand new shiny blueprint.

Everything is becoming lighter. Musical terms come to mind: allegro, vivace, con brio, amabile, a tempopoco a poco crescendo, … as opposed to lento, grave, lamentoso, pesante, ritenuto, …  And I am absolutely convinced that “I can be what I will to be”. I’ve become a lover of Mandino‘s poetry and a devotee of Haanel‘s knowledge.

Ilona’s post resonates with what I’m experiencing these days. So many positive things. And yes, definitely some tough moments too, of course. I’m hanging in there, trying to squeeze everything in before the end of the day – every day – all the exercises, reads, sits, visualisations. And work, business, kids, family, chores, … services. Struggling, swimming upstream, and loving it. Because of the feeling of improvement. The payoff is happening everyday. I (will) persist. I (will) win.

I can see that this process is similar to studying music. The beginnings are difficult… many years of practice before some tangible results. The first 10 years are just for getting the basics down, learning to play the instrument, getting through loads of theoretical knowledge, harmony, sight-reading, the whole deal… The next 10 years, you think you’re so great, but there’s still so much tension, so much unnecessary baggage , so much ego. Then after 25 – 30 years of gently persisting, moments of letting go, listening to others, connecting, observing, trusting, playing as one, moments of bliss, the feeling of freedom, love, peace, inner stillness… The world within suddenly opens up in all it’s glory, unannounced, like a gorgeous flower, like an inner sunrise… Can’t wait for what’s to come. It’s already there, it’s already happening ! Patience my friend…

Thanks for visiting and reading this post. Please leave a comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts…

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13 thoughts on “Week 11 – I Think I’m Smiling More

  1. Sophie

    Hi Erwin, love the analogy with the music…I can really feel the changes taking place in you as I read your blog. Happy to share this journey with you my MKMMA fellow!

  2. Dennis Bell

    The comparison to studying music is right on point Erwin! In a way, we are studying music. I hadn’t thought of it that way before but your post implies the law of growth, law of practice and law of relaxation, at the least. This thought deserves a piece of my sit. Thanks Erwin!

  3. Deirdre Sterling

    Lovely blog, I can feel the peace and harmony coming through in your writing and it really warms my heart. Thank you so much for sharing.

  4. Gerhard

    I really like your analogy to acquiring the deep appreciation of many years of practice in music and that it is something that will unfold it’s beauty on it’s own when it is time. Thank you for sharing. G


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