Eleven. I feel I’m moving ahead. Slowly improving. Advancing steadily. Like one of these icebreaker ships. Unstoppable. I feel stronger, mentally. Physically also. More energy. I feel more awake. Walking in the streets, my steps are clearer, more decisive, more conscious. More focussed. More powerful. More loving, harmonious and happy ? I sure hope so. I think I’m smiling more.
Probably the greatest improvement that I’m experiencing since the beginning of this amazing MKMMA course is that I notice the old blueprint’s procrastination getting weaker, slowly fading away. I’ll be vigilant though. I know it’s still there, but it’s definitely getting weaker… The many daily do-it-now‘s, week after week, are paying off. Often, I hesitate for a second or two, maybe even more… And then I hear the trained part of my mind whisper silently but clearly “do it now…”. I love that. I feel relief. Thank you. It’s becoming like a strong foundation. Ready to support a brand new shiny blueprint.
Everything is becoming lighter. Musical terms come to mind: allegro, vivace, con brio, amabile, a tempo, poco a poco crescendo, … as opposed to lento, grave, lamentoso, pesante, ritenuto, … And I am absolutely convinced that “I can be what I will to be”. I’ve become a lover of Mandino‘s poetry and a devotee of Haanel‘s knowledge.
Ilona’s post resonates with what I’m experiencing these days. So many positive things. And yes, definitely some tough moments too, of course. I’m hanging in there, trying to squeeze everything in before the end of the day – every day – all the exercises, reads, sits, visualisations. And work, business, kids, family, chores, … services. Struggling, swimming upstream, and loving it. Because of the feeling of improvement. The payoff is happening everyday. I (will) persist. I (will) win.
I can see that this process is similar to studying music. The beginnings are difficult… many years of practice before some tangible results. The first 10 years are just for getting the basics down, learning to play the instrument, getting through loads of theoretical knowledge, harmony, sight-reading, the whole deal… The next 10 years, you think you’re so great, but there’s still so much tension, so much unnecessary baggage , so much ego. Then after 25 – 30 years of gently persisting, moments of letting go, listening to others, connecting, observing, trusting, playing as one, moments of bliss, the feeling of freedom, love, peace, inner stillness… The world within suddenly opens up in all it’s glory, unannounced, like a gorgeous flower, like an inner sunrise… Can’t wait for what’s to come. It’s already there, it’s already happening ! Patience my friend…
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