Week 18 – It’s Time To Die My Friend

Finding JoeI’ve been following the compass much more than the clock these past few days… I liked it. Or was it procrastination ? I don’t think so. Procrastination feels different. It smells different. Weak. Uneasy. Fishy. This, on the contrary, felt exciting… Something was cooking , and I held back, waiting for the perfect moment to take it off the fire.

I’ve been struggling with my Definite Major Purpose for quite a while now, thinking it over many times, turning it upside down, looking at it from different angles. But I have not been able to put my finger on the soar spot… I’ve been wanting so much to get in touch with my deepest inner core. Wanting to get a clear picture of what I really need to do with my life. Not in a distant future, but right now, pronto, as soon as possible. And thanks to another major, yes financial challenge, things have become cristal clear… Like Mandino states, “I perceive, at last, that all my problems, discouragements, and heartaches are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise“. I’m grateful now for these so-called setbacks, for they steer me in the right direction. The Universe had put another log onto my back, on top of all the other ones, wondering “is he ever gonna let go ?!”.  This time I felt that moment of relief, that whispering sigh, that last breath… It’s time to die my friend. I really had it. Enough struggling… I want to do what feels right, no matter what. I know what feels right. It’s been there for a long time, that knowing. And in that moment, it popped up to the surface again…

It’s time to strip that “old” DMP from all the superfluous excess baggage, and get down to the bare necessities. Nothing major, or so it seems… I realise now, that I’ve been wanting to please others when writing this current DMP… Other mkmma-ers, the Master Team, myself, everybody. But who am I fooling ? My guy in the glass… Big amounts, far away exotic places, important positions, generous donations… Trash it.

Keep it simple. The most beautiful music is simple…

Knowing I used to practice music for more than 8 hours a day, Shri Yogi Hari, my teacher, a true yoga master, one day startled me with his thundering voice, “Do you know how many bhajans you can learn if you practice 8 hours a day ? … So why don’t you do it ?!!” And then in the sweetest tone, “We would all be so happy…”. I would be so happy. Until now, I just haven’t been able to figure out how… How to find time, how to survive. And you know what, I still don’t see how… But that’s something for my subconscious to figure out. Come on brother, make it happen !

I can see myself in a simple dwelling in the midst of beautiful green surroundings, birds singing, the sun shining, fresh air coming in through the open windows… I’m breathing freely, smiling, practicing Nada Yoga, chanting, playing the harmonium, eating healthy food, enjoying wonderful company…

Thanks for visiting and reading this post. Please leave a comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts…

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12 thoughts on “Week 18 – It’s Time To Die My Friend

  1. Janet Andrews

    I am amazed by your tiny houses. The first one that was Japanese like and a little bigger was my favorite. I tend to be claustrophobic, so the simplicity and minimalism appeals to me and being in nature is wonderful. I applaud your staying with your DMP until it spoke to your heart! You are an excellent writer, among your many talents, from my viewpoint! How wonderful to be on this journey with you…i am so grateful.

    1. Erwin Post author

      The Zen house is definitely my favourite too ! I do love a bit more space 🙂 I’m just intrigued about the tiny houses though. I’d love to give it a try. I love the simplicity. And I think we don’t need much to live a happy live. What is luxury and comfort anyway ? time, quiet, birds singing, healthy yummy food, lovely company, a few good friends, nature, clean air, … and spending the days doing what energises us… Thanks for all the wonderful feedback ! I’m being spoiled 🙂 Wishing you the best.

  2. Ellen L

    You’re not the first I’ve heard say they wrote their DMP to please someone else. I wonder if maybe that’s how everyone starts; and then as we grow and get to know ourselves better, and get used to the idea that we can actually concentrate on and fulfill our own dreams yet remain a good, giving, selfless person, we change our DMP to be our TRUE heart’s desire.
    Great job turning the ‘how’ over to your subconscious, and I can totally see you in a little/big cabin in the woods, too! (I could go for that… though mine would have to have a large enough clearing for me to plant my garden.)

    1. Erwin Post author

      I wouldn’t mind a clearing for my garden either ! 🙂 I really appreciate that we continue to stay in touch throughout the course. Thanks Ellen.

  3. Mary Spicer

    Hey Fawn! Whew! Raw Honesty here! I can feel it and I get it.
    The simple life.
    The video you posted – I’m all over it.
    Simple and Small, surrounded by nature, remembering where we came from, at home, breath in, breath out, living true…..dream come true.

    1. Erwin Post author

      Namaste Mary ! Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, can’t wait for all this to manifest… and some is already… More in Week 19 ! 😉

  4. Claudea

    Persistence, pressing forward brings about the answers we seek! It took me a bit to “feel” right about a lot of things in this process, but when you do it’s great! So glad you finally “feel” what’s right for you! Peace in your journey!


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